In Between

5/29/09
Beautiful Draper Stripe bedding by Dwell. I would sleep so blissfully if I had a bed like this. The lovely country stripes and calming blue feel like home to me.



4/16/09
O dear. I've been very productive today. As in, looking at products. Lots of them.

This bag this bag this bag please please please. This bag would eliminate the need for twelve of my other bags. And I would be stylish, and it would last forever because it's leather. Italian leather.

This notebook by Muji.

This Blind Pilot album for some sweet acoustic listening for this summer, on repeat in my scorching hot apartment. Recommended by a friend who's been doing a Song a Day on Facebook Notes. He's got good taste.

A fan might be nice. Bidding now.

Speakers might be nice. Something small that i can put up on the shelf above the windows...

A vacation here.

This cute jumper from Brooklyn Industries.

Every single piece of jewelry in this woman's Etsy shop. I want to grow up to be this kind of elegant.

3/23/09
Anywho, I'd like to start with a I came across this and thought I'd make my own checklist places of where I'd like to be kissed by my boyfriend. Not on my body, silly - actual world locations!

MY KISSLIST
in the pouring tropical rain
in a treehouse that we built
on a ferris wheel on a cool day
on a grassy hill, preferably in Ireland
over a white picket fence
during a picnic on a small boatjavascript:void(0)
in a blanket fort
through a cab window

Since I've been completely and utterly neglectful of this blog due to a pathetic writer's block, I'm going to attempt to break through by writing about my dreams and see where it goes. Something abstract and tactless yet meaningful to some part of my psyche, apparently.

I've found a recent theme of abandonment throughout my dreams for the past few nights. In my dreams I'm looking for my sister to save me from burning my foot in the oven, yet she is no where to be found until too late. And in another dream my parents invite us all to a party, but I think we're too cool to go so we kind of hang back and continue doing our things, or so I think. Next time I turn around my sisters are dressed up and getting into the car, without telling me that they'd decided to go, in other words, not inviting me. My reaction in that dream was to have a maaajor thrombo on the hood of the car. It was horribly embarrassing but I meant every satanic word. At the time.

This totally would happen in real life by the way, or at least in my head. I would first feel hurt and it would turn into feelings of betrayal. I'd immediately mask my pain with pride and go back inside and continue on some passive aggressive adventure of revenge, like mess up the closet that they just organized, or hide their favorite stuffed animals. It's a reaction I've had all my life. It used to be that there was no difference between being late and on time as long as I showed up, yet I fall to pieces when the other person doesn't notify me when they're running behind. I tend to translate this lack of fortuitous timing into neglect, and take personal offense to this inconsideration. Now I ask for exact time estimations from my dates, to the minute or at least a 6 minute range. It's turning me into a control freak!

In my waking life I'm learning to deal with my anger (I know, what? Milan angry? Just ask my sisters) and how it stems from the pain of feeling abandoned. I am at a COMPLETE loss as to how to get over it. I can be logical and realize that shtuff happens and it doesn't mean that I am the center of the universe (but I am the center of MY universe!) and that I don't have to be made the victim (then why do i FEEL like the victim??). Exasperated sigh.

It's ridiculous really, and I can't help but feel that I will be dealing with this for the rest of my life. Alls I knows is that either 1) my significant other is going to have to be extra communicative and constantly present (not physically, mainly emotionally) in order to reassure my ego that it is loved or 2) love my ego myself. Or both.

The conversations in my head go like this:

Me: You are not the center of the universe.
Ego: But I am the center of MY universe.
Me: Ok yes, but you have to live with others in this universe so calm the cow down!
Ego: *pout* ok.

Me: You don't have to be the victim today.
Ego: But I am the victim, why else would I feel this way?
Me: Because you're hurt, that's all. It's a legitimate reaction and it'll pass.
Ego: But when?
Me: As soon as you stop making yourself the victim.
Ego: But I want to be! I don't have to be strong here!
Me: Aha. So that's what you want? To be weak?
Ego: no...
Me: Okay. Well I love you so be strong and it will pass.
Ego: *pout* ok.

We all have our inner demons called the ego, and I think we all should have a better relationship with it. I don't know if having this type of conversation will work for me, but I'll give it a try the next time I find myself in a completely irrational place. Like while having a hissy fit on the hood of a car.

Hello hello,
I've been M.I.A for quite some time now (7 days, but in blog world, missing a day is like missing a lifetime) and I've not real excuse. In fact, I'l have you know that I have been writing more on paper and actually have a series of thoughts on Following Your Dreams that I'll have to break up into separate posts. It's a subject that I've been tackling for most of my life and increasingly so lately, so I'm very passionate about sharing them with you and hearing what you have to say. More soon.

In other news, I ran out of contacts last week so I took that as an incentive to get these nerdy Guess glasses. Yes, I am going for the nerdy look. My calm face looks "too cool for school"...
... so I took another with a funny expression to balance it out. For some reason I feel inappropriate smiling at my desk. Hm.. that can't be a good sign.

Do you all like the related posts widget I've added to this page? I feel that it's a good way to engage you all readers more, by sifting through my old posts that might possibly interest you. I'm not sure the algorithm or if it's just keyword related, but it'll probably hit or miss until I accumulate more posts.

I'm still refining my subject matter for this blog. It's more so an all-encompassing-Milan blog, of things that interest me (design, photography, interiors, style) and of things I think of (stupid inventions, existential thoughts, dreams). It's more or less a personal blog, but I'd like to be able to connect with you readers in some way.

Where do our commonalities lie? What can you relate to on this site? Is it just because you know me, or want to know me? Or is there something in what I say that interests you? Please let me know and I'll have better insight as to what to write about.

For the sixth edition Schmap San Francisco Guide. Never heard of it before, but it looks cool! Thank you Internet Lord for search engine optimization and tags for allowing them to find me on flickr!

I took this photo a few years back when I was traveling between Davis and San Francisco a lot to visit my then-boyfriend who went to the California Culinary Academy right around the corner from this photo. That was an adventurous time in my life, when I dropped out of college for a quarter for some reason that I'll have to refer to my journal archive to remember. I still don't know if my parents ever knew...

Normally airports evoke no emotion out of me. I feel that they can improve in their sanitation, warmer customer service, update their systems and create a better navigation for the first time flyer. I know airports are known for prime people-watching spots, only more inflated by the 2003 movie Love Actually and its romantic depiction of reuniting families from opposite ends of the ocean, coated with slow-motion surprise-faces followed by the dropping of luggage, running, tears and embracing. I look for that at the airports, hoping to witness that special moment so highly coveted, but... not to be a pessimist, I rarely see it. Not that I wouldn't love to see that, no, not at all. I LIVE for moments like that. Love Actually is the epitome of how I see love- all angsty and yummy. It's just that the airports have been just disappointing if you're seeking to be surrounded by that energy.

All that aside, I had the best flying experience last week, coming out of John Wayne / Orange County airport and into San Francisco on United Airlines. The flight was short, about an hour. The view of dusk and the sunset was stunning, I couldn't keep my eyes off of it. The landing was smooth as could be; I couldn't tell when we stopped flying and when we started landing. We left early and got in early, which means I get into my own bed even sooner.

I suppose little of that actually had to do with the physical airport but I thought I'd share that with the few shots that I took there.




[Photos taken by me at SNA, Newport Beach]

Career change by Blah Blah Blahg


Doing What You Love Blog Interview Series.

For me, discovery through blogs.


What do I want? A home. And a studio. http://www.designspongeonline.com/2009/02/sneak-peek-mike-perry-anna-wolf.html

Happy Monday everyone,

Forgive me for doing a Monday post right after a Monday post. That just looks bad! I got back from the business trip and spent the rest of the week catching up with work, family, friends, boyfriend-- amazing how much three days of your regular life you can miss!

I haven't had access to internets this weekend. We spontaneously switched the location of our new couch and computer desk, detaching the computer from the only other three-prong outlet in the apartment, the other being in the bathroom, and I am not about to lug that 24' thirty pound iMac into my bathroom, no matter how convenient they say it is. You know who you are O_o.

On the other hand, the couch looks great, and I've finally made some interior decisions that have stalled the decorating process greatly.

1) The bedroom will be a mediterranean blue and stark white
2) The living room will be neutral colored, mostly, with splashes of color
3) I need a soft white rug that is at least 3x5
4) Still looking for that perfect table / desk / console

We've installed white roller blinds from IKEA that are transparent enough to let light in AND disguise the ugly blinds that came with the place that Jason doesn't have a problem with but I can't stand. I don't have internet at home which means I can't upload photos yet, but I've given in and ordered Comcast so again, bear with me.

I had some girlfriends over the other night after dinner in North Berkeley and we had such a lovely time. We went to Andronico's and shared champagne, strawberries dipped in chocolate, and chatted about everything under the sun, well into the late night. Oh, adding to the list:

5) a set of wine glasses and mugs and teacups

I only had one mug that my sister painted for me and three wine glasses for four people. What a poor host I be! And what a poor blogger I be! Well, I've scattered some lovely photos in this post that I'd like to share with you; some inspiration I've been keeping in my pocket for some time now.

Hello!

Did everyone in have a nice weekend? I did. Hitched a ride to my hometown Davis to spend the day with my mom and our family dog, Clover, who has a tumor and unfortunately is not doing well. Mom cooked her magical dishes (seriously, they barely have anything in their fridge yet she always somehow throws something totally tasty together!), and watched a bunch of movies On-Demand. Took the train back to the bay to meet Jason and we spent a bit of it outdoors to bask in the first warm weekend of the season (whilst trying my best to withstand the allergies that started to invade my nose), and then a little lollying about watching TV, and then heading to a Killers concert down in San Jose. GREAT performance, bravo.

I'm in Newport Beach for a conference Tuesday and Wednesday. It's my very first business related trip and I couldn't feel more like a young'un right now. I suppose I could just make the best of this 'novice' feeling and be honest about it. "Hey, I'm Milan, and I'm a total newb, please hold my hand." Just kidding. I'm actually quite excited to learn more about usability trends and the workshop on Wireframing and Prototyping. From the Web App Summit website:

Top designers will tell you the secret is in great wireframes and prototypes. They use these tools as renderings of their concepts, documentation for the team, and platforms for collecting feedback from their users. With the right toolbox of techniques, the team can begin to visualize their design ideas from day one.

In other matters, it was 98 degrees out here when my plane landed. And it's normally rainy season this time of year. Curious...

The hotel room is super nice, admittedly the nicest hotel I've ever stayed in yet, but I should add that I don't get out too much, and when I do it's super budget. There are six really fluffy pillows on the bed - six too many for me, really, but I look forward to throwing them on the floor. There's a flat screen TV that I am about to go watch, which must mean that I have reached my last resort.

Wish me luck tomorrow!

Ugh, so sweet. Long video but really sweet way to meet someone, if you haven't already.
And if you have, do something lovely and fun this weekend. It's going to be great weather here in the bay area! Except for I'll be in Davis, listening to live house music Sunday afternoon on the lawn, getting some sun.

Go love someone, and I'll see you Monday.