In Between

To seek the timeless way we must first know the quality without a name. There is a central quality which is the root criterion of life and spirit in a man, a town, a building, or a wilderness. This quality is objective and precise, but it cannot be named. 

– Christopher Alexander

Kurt Vonnegut's advice on telling stories, worth the short listen via Brain Pickings

Makers Gonna Make, by Jude Landry. (via Swissmiss)

Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. – H. Thurman

From the website of creative studio Designing Monsters, whose work you should definitely check out.

I just love this Coffeeklatch interview answer. Couldn't agree more.

How important is light when you work?

Light and space are very important. More than that: they have to contribute. Everything must be practical. I think it is important that everything is on wheels. I paint on the table, but also on the wall and on the floor and it is important that my materials are within reach and that I don’t have anything in my way. I can be quite a maniac when I’m working and throw lots of things around me. But I also clean up regularly!

And this QA felt especially true to hardworking, earned success and ambition. It's good to remember not to be picky.

As a painter you’ve come a long way. You make a living out of painting and that is truly exceptional.

I live from what I paint. I bought this house with the money I earned by selling paintings. I originate from a workin class family and when I started on a freelance basis, I said to myself, mantra-wise: “I live from painting!” In the beginning I accepted all jobs that involved drawing and painting, often very applied work. I’ve learned a lot from this, both artistically and professionally. Since I've opened my exhibition space, I don't need to do that anymore.

quotes via Coffeeklatch interview of Piet Raemdonck

Today, a quote:

"I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."

-- Theodore I. Rubin, MD

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

 -Marilyn Monroe

(via Brit and Dave)

I agree with this quote with all my soul. Who knew that I would have the same ideals as Marilyn Monroe?

I haven't always been open to accepting wisdom from others. Sometimes I just want to figure things out myself. What can I say, I'm the stubborn middle child. My heart clenches when criticized, but still, I try to improve.

In my relationship with Jase, I've had to look in the mirror more closely than I've ever cared to look before. Thing is, I know that there's so much more to discover. That both excites and scares me, to be quite honest, so I take it in doses, working on what I can, when I can, and hope that it's for the better. Now that we're taking that next step (more on that later), I'm even more aware of what needs fixing before it's too late.

This time, it took reading Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP newsletter this morning to realize that my relationship with Jase is going to change, and for the better. The newsletter is articulately written from three male perspectives, and  I wanted to share all these golden nuggets of wisdom with you, but also so I can call on it if (and when) I'll need it too.  Deepak Chopra touches on so many good points in his essay, but here are a few of the ones that spoke to me personally.

"Relationships are happy where love is nurtured. They begin to fray around the edges when love is compromised, and they end when love is gone."

"To rescue love, you first must understand what it is. Love includes affection but is more than affection. It associates itself with sexual desire, kindness, compassion, altruism, and mutual regard.  With those things in mind, many couples turn love into loving acts and loving feelings.  But such efforts are the effect of love, not love itself. You cannot turn an effect into a cause."

"Love as a cause goes beyond the individual. It's transpersonal or as spiritual teachers say, transcendent.  That's not the same as mystical. To transcend means to go beyond.  In this case, we want to contact love that goes beyond the ego. The ego is often put in charge of love. When love becomes what "I" want, then relationship is a negotiation between two selfish points of view."

"Instead of wasting time with the ego's version of love, return to the place of love. " 

"The differences between a man and a woman fade in the light of a shared goal that is bigger than any ego need or desire.  Every day becomes both a rescue and a surrender. Not a surrender to another person's ego, which can only feel like defeat. Rather, both partners surrender to the larger goal."

Actually, you know what, I think I'm way more excited than scared. Three years into this relationship, I know my ego still drives my heart more often than not. I won't beat myself up for that. I'm still working on myself and therefore still working on love. And I want to know that sort of love, more than anything. So, bring it on, Deepak. I'm ready.

Read all three essays on Sustaining Relationships here.

"I thank you God for this amazing day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue dream of sky; and for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes. "

—e.e. cummings