In Between

We got married 9 months ago and how I feel is not dissimilar to a baby being born again. I feel like a different person, but in a good, natural, transformative way.

I like the idea that some things never change. I went back to my hometown, Davis, recently, and walked through downtown to pick up some supplies for a picnic. We walked past Silver Dragon Chinese Restaurant which we used to go as a family for Chinese. Of all the new Chinese spots that popped up over the years, I still argue this is the best spot in town, even though I haven't been in years. The tacky gumball machines are still in the same place. The same red leather booths made me think of the clear wonton broth and fluffy fried rice... my mouth watered at the thought. Of all the changes that happen as we leave our hometowns, make new friends and start new jobs, as we grow older and take things for granted, it's nice to be take a moment and remember a childhood that once was. That's what childhoods are for, right?




Last September I married the love of my life. Most recent photo of us above. We've grown together over the past five years, and more so than I'd imagined in the past nine months. After adjusting to being husband-and-wife (which I secretly hope never stops being a hot thing to say), we recently decided on a plan of action for the next year. A simple choice that we made in solidarity feels tangible and incredibly good.

No, it's not babies.

We're going to set our minds on traveling! Japan and Korea first, to visit our relatives, and then we have a Eurotrip and Australia on the list as well. We are super excited for this plan, and are set on making it work. I think I might add Malaysia/Vietnam/Thailand, after seeing some other people's photos on Instagram.

And that brings me to my last item, Instagram. I've been blogging profusely on Instagram. I heart IG so much it's annoying. If you'd like to take a look at my past year, my handle is @mrrrrrrp, or take a looksee here: http://instagrid.me/mrrrrrrp/

Til next time!

It's been nearly a month since these photos were taken, and still I find new things to love about that day as it unfolded in amazing ways that I never could have planned. The foyer setup, the banquet tables, the flower arrangements, the lighting, the music, the hors d'ouvres, the bathtub, the candles, the giant wreath, everyone's outfits, and silly faces in the photobooth, the Sapporo keg, the slideshow, the mountain setting...the past 9 months came together in reality for me and I'm still pinching myself to wake up.

I consider myself to be overly critical but I can honestly say that because of our family and friends, every detail of our wedding day was taken care of and nothing could have possibly gone wrong. Jason and I married while surrounded by the powerful love of our dearest friends from near and far.

We. Were. Invincible.

Some people say, "It's just another day", and some people say "It's the happiest day of your life". I think I'll go with something in between. A monumental day. A culmination of all the love in our lives. A true celebration. All I know is that I am so happy to have these photos to look back upon on those rainy days, when I need a reminder of how just damn lucky we are. Thank you, you know who you are.

I haven't always been open to accepting wisdom from others. Sometimes I just want to figure things out myself. What can I say, I'm the stubborn middle child. My heart clenches when criticized, but still, I try to improve.

In my relationship with Jase, I've had to look in the mirror more closely than I've ever cared to look before. Thing is, I know that there's so much more to discover. That both excites and scares me, to be quite honest, so I take it in doses, working on what I can, when I can, and hope that it's for the better. Now that we're taking that next step (more on that later), I'm even more aware of what needs fixing before it's too late.

This time, it took reading Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP newsletter this morning to realize that my relationship with Jase is going to change, and for the better. The newsletter is articulately written from three male perspectives, and  I wanted to share all these golden nuggets of wisdom with you, but also so I can call on it if (and when) I'll need it too.  Deepak Chopra touches on so many good points in his essay, but here are a few of the ones that spoke to me personally.

"Relationships are happy where love is nurtured. They begin to fray around the edges when love is compromised, and they end when love is gone."

"To rescue love, you first must understand what it is. Love includes affection but is more than affection. It associates itself with sexual desire, kindness, compassion, altruism, and mutual regard.  With those things in mind, many couples turn love into loving acts and loving feelings.  But such efforts are the effect of love, not love itself. You cannot turn an effect into a cause."

"Love as a cause goes beyond the individual. It's transpersonal or as spiritual teachers say, transcendent.  That's not the same as mystical. To transcend means to go beyond.  In this case, we want to contact love that goes beyond the ego. The ego is often put in charge of love. When love becomes what "I" want, then relationship is a negotiation between two selfish points of view."

"Instead of wasting time with the ego's version of love, return to the place of love. " 

"The differences between a man and a woman fade in the light of a shared goal that is bigger than any ego need or desire.  Every day becomes both a rescue and a surrender. Not a surrender to another person's ego, which can only feel like defeat. Rather, both partners surrender to the larger goal."

Actually, you know what, I think I'm way more excited than scared. Three years into this relationship, I know my ego still drives my heart more often than not. I won't beat myself up for that. I'm still working on myself and therefore still working on love. And I want to know that sort of love, more than anything. So, bring it on, Deepak. I'm ready.

Read all three essays on Sustaining Relationships here.

LETTERPRESS PRINTING. ANNA BOND OF RIFLE DESIGN. ERIN JANG OF INDIGO BUNTING ILLUSTRATION& DESIGN. COLLECTING BITS OF NATURE. START-UP COMPANIES. JAPANESE FOOD. DILL WEED. CAMPING BY THE OCEAN. THE OCEAN. DAYS OFF. ON-DAYS. A WELL DESIGNED ROOM. SEEING DREAMS MATERIALIZE. TIME ALONE. COOKING WITH FRIENDS. JASON'S SUDDEN DANCE MOVES. A GOOD SONG. WES ANDERSON'S FILMS. JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT. THINGS THAT FIT. BEING WITH MON SOEURS. WALKS IN DAVIS IN THE FALL. RECHARGING. A CLEAN HOME. MY FRIENDS. THE THOUGHT OF LIVING WITH JASON SOON. MAKING LISTS AND CHECKING THINGS OFF. QUIET SLOW MORNINGS. BOATS. MORNING LIGHT. GETTING MAIL. FINDING PARTY & WEDDING INSPIRATION. HIS SCENT. A GOOD JOKE. "I'D BE LYING" BY GREG LASWELL.



What do you love that's worth shouting about?

I can't imagine an anniversary celebration topping this last one at year 3. We might have to call it quits while we're ahead! Just kidding. But really, it was that relaxing. By the photos above you might think that we were in the company of royalty in Ireland for the Labor Day weekend but in reality, we stayed at the Ritz Carlton in Half Moon Bay for one night. It was misty but not cold, which was actually perfect for napping on the sand. We had our own firepit on our porch where we watched golfers while sipping wine and discussing ways to jump into the hole in the bush that was our view. We made much needed visits to the beach to and from the resort, a must for the few weeks of Indian summer we have left.

Highlights: Bathing in BVLGARI soaps and shampoos, dining at the Navio brunch buffet and receiving a complimentary (and endearingly misspelled) box of chocolates, contemplating the ocean from a bench on a cliff, oh, and this drive-by shot of dinosaurs at Half Moon Bay!!!



Lord knows I've mentioned him once or twice before, so I won't try to make you barf over about how much I love this man. I just hope that he knows how much. More than fresh dill. More than getting mail.

Who brings a twinkle to my eyes? Jason, my partner in crime. He’s so close to me that I sometimes don’t see him clearly or notice the things he does for me. You know how it is. I’ll go through rotten phases when I think “he’s not sweet enough” or “he isn’t thoughtful enough” but literally as soon as the thought crosses my mind, he does something absolutely darling to flat out prove me wrong.
I have this Blankie that I’ve loved and cherished since childhood. Despite knowing how much it means to me, he occasionally teases me by calling it a “towel”. Grr.

I've taken it with me on every vacation, road trip, and sleepover I've ever been to. One corner used to live in my mouth. I had a technique for rubbing the soft fabric on my upper lip while sucking my thumb (a habit I didn't break until 4th grade or something ridiculous). Today I have a way of wrapping it around my head and over my eyes when I can't sleep, creating a cloud of soft warmth that soothes me like a charm.

The other morning we were getting ready to start the day and he’s uncharacteristically making the bed for us. Upon leaving the house I run back inside to grab something and see that after making the bed, he’d arranged two pillows and Blankie to form a HUGE smiley face, as if to make up for all the times he’s called it a towel. And I totally forgive him because of this moment.



Moments like these are common with Jason. He'll contradict my negative thoughts with a sleight of his hand and completely melt my heart. I don't know, maybe it doesn't take much to make me happy, but in my eyes, he totally turns my world right side up.

A photo by Lola, and a photo from Lola: my most dear, interesting, caring friend.

Ugh, so sweet. Long video but really sweet way to meet someone, if you haven't already.
And if you have, do something lovely and fun this weekend. It's going to be great weather here in the bay area! Except for I'll be in Davis, listening to live house music Sunday afternoon on the lawn, getting some sun.

Go love someone, and I'll see you Monday.

He is my partner, my blanket, my sunshine and my rock. He has impeccable timing. He makes me laugh in thousands of ways. He tolerates my tantrums and even lets me use him as a punching bag. He's the only person who has seen all my faces, and I mean ALL of them. He is the most patient, kind, generous and trustworthy person I know. If ever I doubt that, please slap me and remind me how lucky I am to have him in my life.